Is this real? Have I reached a state of peace? What is this feeling? It is different than before. I'm only a couple weeks into this new life, but there's a new feeling I haven't felt in a while. I believe this is peace.
The first week felt like I was on vacation, leaving behind worries for a week to spend time in a new place with family. Just like a vacation, I was worried the next week would be rough to transition back to life because I thought I was missing out on something or would be blindsided by a problem that could potentially postpone my new life again, but that hasn't happen. The next week was also a smooth adjustment as well. Everything is under control at the Missouri spa and being taken care of to a level that I had only dreamed of.
Sure, I still need to find a new career or push the spa business in Tennessee, but it feels so good to just be and live in this moment of peace and happiness with my family. This is my home now and I have a partnership with a man I fell in love with 3 years ago. We yearned for this moment and for a while didn't think it could ever happen. All the successes and failures over the past few years has given me an appreciation for life and what I have. After nearly losing everything I owned and people I loved by following an entrepreneurial dream, I'm very grateful for my life and what this has lead me to.
I'm turning 40 in a few days and moving into a new pinnacle (numerology speaking, a new chapter of life). I have a different outlook on life now. If you asked me how I wanted to live when I turned 30 I would have referenced something to the fact of "Keeping up with the Jones'" because I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone or allowed myself to just be me. Back then I looked out my front door to see what the neighbors and friends were doing so I made sure I was doing something similar. Not now, I don't want that life. I chose to be me and free to make our own choices on how we live as a family.
We had a choice to live in a house or the church when we moved to Knoxville. The church is a property Greg bought that was an old baptist church with an ADU that we turned into an AirBnB. The church is in need of a renovation but it's our home for now as we figure out how we want it to work for us. We have a large yard with lots of opportunities for gardening, entertaining and playing. Gardening has been keeping me busy so far, as well as getting to know our neighbors with group brunches and dinners.
I'm looking forward to finding my next career adventure but for now I'm excited to learn new skills like fly fishing and backing up a boat trailer (lol, I need some practice!). With the Smoky Mountains minutes away, and rivers and trails in the neighborhood we are pretty content and happy just living life as simple as we can. Best of all, we're doing it together.